Moving from comfort to courage

 

 

I heard something recently about moving from comfort to courage. That kind of stuck with me, I heard it over and over in my head.  As soon as I heard it, I knew exactly where I would apply it to my life. The area of my life that was responsible for making my days long and my nights even longer. This WEIGHT!!! I guess that was a no brainer. Me myself and food, what God created for nourishment, I abused and used it for comfort. Food could fix anything; food would always make it all better. If you know me, you know firsthand that I've been playing around for a long time. If you don’t know me, keep reading, you’ll get to know me. I've attempted every diet known to man. I found that almost anything will work if I'd only STICK to it. I am certain that this is all a part of God’s plan for me.

I know for a fact that I could've picked a plan, stuck with it and got amazing results.

I sucked when it came to making the RIGHT choices. Shall I eat an apple or a doughnut? That's a no brainer; I'll eat the doughnut and just walk an extra lap. Please!! Who was I kidding? I guess myself. I kidded myself for over 2 years. The same old story, I'll start over tomorrow, and tomorrow turned into Monday. Starting over during the week was unheard of. I always had to start over on a Monday. That means that the entire weekend I allowed myself to eat up everything. So Monday would come, I'd do great until Wednesday. On Wednesday someone might bring brownies to church and of course I'd have to have one. Everyone else is eating brownies in my face, how could I resist? I'd eat the brownie only to get home and feel like crap. So guess what? I will just start over on Monday, that way I could pig out all weekend and start fresh on Monday. What if I mess up again on Tuesday? Ha, I'd have to start over again on Monday. It was just ridiculous, I am just being honest. Most of my days were spent pigging out and feeling sorry for myself.

Food became my best friend. When I celebrated, I ate. When I was sad, I ate. When I felt lonely, I ate. Everything I did or didn't do required eating. Food was always so comforting, so rewarding, and so good. Food replaced EVERYTHING except God.

Recently I found out that I had been placing food before God. OUCH! That really stung, but I'm still keeping it real. I’m really in denial food before God? Absolutely NOT!! Yeah right. Yes, food took the place of God. I didn't worship food or anything but it was always what I ran to. Instead of running to God I would stop by the refrigerator first. Food became my idol, it was important to me. It was my medicine, too bad it was the wrong prescription.

Month after month of cheating, quitting and failing, something had to give. My mind was exhausted, my body ached, my heart hurt and my loved ones grieved. I kept asking myself "What am I doing"? I cried out to God. "God, help me please, I'm so tired"! I was tired, at Rock bottom doing everything I could to keep my head above the water. At just the right time, God answered. He placed me on a secluded Hill, full of Christian women (retreat). For an entire weekend with no interruptions, he made his self-available for me, he was always available, and it was all on me. He held me, humbled me and healed me. I'm FREE!!!

He has given me all the tools I needed to be successful. All I ever needed was him. His word has always been the truth. What is Faith without works? As much as I thought I knew, something was keeping me from deliverance. I had to walk in his promises, I had to address my problem I had to dig deep and get to the root of it all. I did! I had to leave my comfort zone behind. I had to have courage. Courage enough to finally say, enough is enough. Do I want to live and be happy; am I ready to be free from bondage? How dare I continue to live in bondage when Jesus paid an awful price for ME.?

It was time to battle; it was time to move from comfort to courage. I can't explain how good it feels to be free, to be given a choice to really change. To wake up in the morning and give my entire day over to The Lord and to really know that he’s got me. This isn't even my battle. I had fought for months for nothing. No wonder I lost, I wasn't equipped for battle. I had been telling God for months what I was going to do. I thought I had given it over to him but deep down I hadn't. I hadn't gotten to the root of my issue.  I have finally arrived, I'm here with unshaken Faith standing firm. I have Courage to live life for today. I have the Courage to give God my all, every single day. I have the Courage to come clean and to humble myself before him. I have the Courage to write and share this with you today. No longer do I look for something to comfort me, I go to the comforter. The one and only Jesus Christ!! There is no other way, I am confessing boldly that any other way, leads to destruction. Anything that takes the place of the Father is idolatry, I have repented and I Love God more than anything.